community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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