So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
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I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.