glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen