I think about you every night.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.