I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?