so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank