If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart