so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions