i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
