literally had 100 drinks last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.