Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm