once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.