They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize