Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
