I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?