Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.