I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
