did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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