My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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