Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
