I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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