I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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