yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
