when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love having hate sex.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize