He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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