We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize