it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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