The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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