HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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