tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
tell me about the eggs
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