the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
