I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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