U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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