so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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