We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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