theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
