He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
