Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.