the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.