hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet