i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize