we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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