ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
