At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize