I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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