I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
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cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
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I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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