I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize