Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize