im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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