woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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