We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize