Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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