I wanna bring you to show and tell
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
