Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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