Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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