if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
