Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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