Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
