being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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