I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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